The Search for Home

Our family has a new project; searching for a church home. I see no need to go into why we need a new church home, but I did think that it might be interesting to chronicle the search.

The church we have left was our church home for five years. When we became a part of that church our three youngest children; the only ones left at home in this season of our lives, were ages 4, 6, and 9. The youngest does not accurately remember life that did not include this church, these people, that routine. They are leaving behind the center of their social structure, beloved teachers, valued friends. They are not handling this life change well and it is difficult to guide them through the pain of separation and help them start over in a new place.

The last time we attended our church was June 21. Since that time we visited my adult son's church once and other than that we delayed starting the search until August 23rd. We slept in on Sundays, we went out of town, we took our time to heal before moving on. It was particularly important to me to feel adequately recovered from the shock of making this change before I started searching for a new home. I wanted to avoid the pitfalls of rebounding; that sad state when you pick the first one that comes along, whether it's the first new boyfriend/husband, the first new puppy after the loss of a beloved pet, the first house the real estate agent shows you, the first used car you see in the paper, or, in our case, the first church you visit.

I will tell you that we know some absolutes that matter greatly to us and I gladly share them with you here.

1)Music: We prefer a service that is contemporary in its feel. We like a variety of instruments and a modern sound. We don't mind if an older praise and worship chorus or even a hymn are used here and there, but for the most part we appreciate a praise and worship leader who is knowledgeable of what is current in the Christian music world.

2)Church Size: We are not particular about this, except that we probably will not be looking seriously at mega churches or churches that wish to be mega churches. If a church has growing its numbers as a stated goal, whether or openly or subtly, we will be moving on.

3)Programs: We are not looking for any particular programs. The church does not have to have Awana or use Group Publishing or offer a VBS program or run is own summer camp or have small groups or offer traditional Sunday School. We have tried all of those and they are all fine and the lack of them is fine too.

4)Teaching: We want to know that there will be a wide variety of teaching, encompassing the whole Bible and all aspects of life. If a church seems to have a particular "theme" that it comes back to again and again, outside of the salvation message of course, we'll be moving on.

5)Gifts of the Spirit:. We would not be comfortable in a church that denied the working of the Holy Spirit. Conversely, we are unlikely to be comfortable in a church that emphasizes emotional experience.

6)Presentation: We like the use of technology in the church. We do not find screens, powerpoints, adjustable lighting and the like to be a distraction at all. We find it to be helpful; whether a powerpoint is helping the pastor illustrate a point or the dimmed lights are helping us to focus on worship without the distraction of those around us. If we walk into a church and see screens and a sound booth, we are going to feel pretty good about that.

7)Youth and Children: Our children need to feel accepted, like they can plug in. If there is a great deal of cliquishness, we will be moving along.

8)Rules and Prohibitions: If a church asks something of its members that cannot be backed up, soundly, with scripture, we'll be moving on. Mature Christians can and should be expected to hear from God for themselves regarding day to day life. This can include whether they listen to secular music, how they interpret clothing standards, whether they feel alcoholic consumption is allowable or not, how they vote, and many other issues.